Bottled Fate
by Kolobusamanda
Summary: An potion accident changes the lives of Severus Snape and Harry Potter forever. Will Snape allow Lupin to love him? Will Harry ever tell Ron how he feels? What is Draco's scheme to win Hermione's love? The answers and a humorous m-preg await you inside.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Everything recognizable belongs to J. K. Rowling._

A/N: This is a reworking of one of my earlier stories, Sparkle of Creation, under my old account name: Kolobusamy.

This is a Harry/Ron, Severus/Remus, and Draco/Hermione story. If you don't like those paring, read no further.

Chapter One

Snape's Fancy New Potion

_The Burrow…_

After many trying and horrible battles, the war was over. Harry Potter was the-boy-who-lived, defeating the dark lord and freeing the wizarding world from his oppressive shadow.

The party's were over, the confetti all swept away, the last of the Champaign drank, now all Harry had to do was get on with his life.

But how, he wondered, do I do that?

Harry lay awake in the cool dark room. Plastered with Chudley Cannons and Martin the Mad Muggle posters, the room was filled with the smell of Ron and youth and the sound of Ron's soft snoring and Pig's rustle of feathers …and in that moment Harry knew that he was totally broken.

His unwanted feelings toward Ron leave Harry feeling old and tired.

And lonely.

Harry wanted to cry. To scream and found he could not.

There was no reason to feel this way, no rhyme to the emotions that run amuck in his short muscled frame for his red-haired best friend.

"Spiders…biggens…nooo." Ron snorted into his arm from across the room.

Ron was sprawled, big and brawny, across his twin bed. He seemed t be having a bad dream, Harry thought, a smile twisting his lips as he surveyed his best friend.

Ron's blankets were twisted around his legs, his beautiful bare-chest glistening with sweat. He had an arm thrown across his face while his other hand twisted in the sheets.

Harry smiled; Ron really was a big brute. Harry's eyes traveled down Ron's chest, pausing at the pink nipples, before eyeing the healthy bulge in Ron's shorts.

He felt his breathe hitch in his chest.

Great, just great! Harry growled as he punched his pillow and turned to face the window.

All these stupid feelings just wouldn't go away! He didn't really want Ron like that, but his body only responded to his beautiful best friend!

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get interested in girls the same way.

Harry couldn't even bring himself to tell Ron and Hermione about his feelings.

How would they react? Would they be okay with it? Or would things change between them forever?

"Best to never tell, best to keep it a secret forever," Harry mumbled into his pillow as sleep finally took him.

_Hogwarts…_

Professor Snape slowly stirred the potion bubbling in front of him clockwise.

He hated that infernal werewolf! Snape added a pinch of clover to the simmering potion. Went behind my back and suckered Albus into making his Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor!

Snape growled and pushed himself away from the bubbling cauldron containing the werewolf calming potion.

It was a new potion that Snape and a little Japanese Wizard, Master Tan, had been working on for four years and the resulting potion was one that wouldn't cure the illness but treat it, successfully.

As long as an infected person drinks this potion once a month, they will feel no effects of their condition.

No transformations at all, no illness, no behavior changes. They are a fully functioning, productive member of the wizarding society once again.

Who knew that such a lucrative potion would come back to bite him!

"Remus Lupin! War hero, my ass!" Snape stirred in a few more drops of lavender. The amount of praise and adoration that handsome devil received for his part in the down fall of the dark lord galled Snape.

He, himself had played a much greater and infinitely more dangerous role in Voldemort's demise. But were their any awards or accolades heading his way? Hell, no!

Snape slammed a vile of ginger extract on the potion bench in front of him.

His motives were always called into question.

Snape growled like an angry beast, "Once a Deatheater, always a Deatheater!"

Snape eyeballed his potions cupboard; he should throw a few extra ingredients into the cauldron and see what that smug pain-in-his-bullocks, Lupin, thought about that!

"Almost worth the stint in Azkaban," Snape muttered. "Almost."

Snape finished the potion with a few expert dashes of silver dust and poured it into a wooden goblet.

"Let Lupin venture down into the dungeons and get this himself!" Snape sauntered out of the lab. "I'm not his servant or his buddy."

With a flash of his long black cloak, Snape was on his way down the hallway pasted the potions lab he was just in, journeying deeper and deeper into the depths of the dungeons to where his sanctuary, his one calming spot, awaits.

Reaching his destination, Snape let out a sigh of relief.

Here, among the potion bottles, the specimen jars, and the numerous tombs of ancient potions, he was truly at peace.

_The Burrow…_

Hermione swished and sashayed her way into the boys' room, a smile as bright as the morning sun on her sweet young face.

"Wake up, my darlings, wake up!" Hermione yanked Harry's blanket off his muscled, half-naked body before turning her attentions toward her boyfriend.

"Today is the day! Oh…Today is the day to ride a train!" She sang merrily as she perched on Ron's lean muscled stomach. "Get up, up, up!"

Hermione elegantly tossed her honey brown hair over her shoulder.

"We have prefect duties and studies and a whole new wonderful year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizarding!" She sang into Ron's right ear.

"Geez, Hermione," Ron grumbled rolling over onto his side, knocking Hermione off in the process. "Did you eat one of the twins trick candies or what?"

Hermione humphed and punched him in the shoulder.

"Noo," She jumped from the bed and grabbed one of Ron's shirts from the floor, folding it and throwing it on top of his dresser. "This will be the first year since we started Hogwarts that the threat of Voldemort and his evil will no longer be hanging over our heads. We can finally focus on our studies and other teenage pursuits, like…"

She winked at Harry, who was sitting upright with his legs over the side of his bed and scratching his groin.

"Like what," Ron grumbled as he pulled on a pair of faded school slacks.

"Like dating, sweetling," Hermione ran her small white fingers through Ron's ruffled red locks. "Dating and other _stuff._" Hermione stood on her tiptoes and kissed Ron on the chin.

"So hurry up! A new day awaits, gentleman!"

And with that she was gone in a flounce.

"Why does she always do things like that when I'm not in my right mind to take advantage of them?" Ron looked over at Harry; his hazel eye's pausing on Harry's lean tan chest before glancing away and quickly pulling his school shirt on.

"Because she wants to keep you on your toes," Harry glanced up at his friend with a grin and quickly finished dressing.

A new day, indeed!

Downstairs the whole Weasley family sat around the kitchen table enjoying Mrs. Weasley's delicious breakfast of eggs, fried sausages, potatoes and toast with sparkly homemade jam.

Mr. Weasley, now the new Ministry of Magic, sat with his right hand man, Percy, discussing Ministry business in an energetic tone while his beautiful and feisty wife looked on from the other end of the table at her family with a truly happy and contented smile.

Charlie and Bill, who stopped by to enjoy breakfast with the whole family, before half of them went back to Hogwarts, laughed at the twins antics.

Ginny and Hermione sat across from Fred and George and giggled at something only the teenagers could know.

Mrs. Weasley, hearing the stairs rumbling, glanced up and saw Harry and Ron bounding down the stairs, a feathery little owl hooting along after them.

"Boys are you all packed?" She asked as they dropped into their seats in the careless way that only teenage boys could pull off, quickly filling their plates and faces with sausages, potatoes and eggs. "We leave after breakfast for Platform 9 ¾ as soon as everyone is done eating."

"We're packed and ready to go, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said around a mouthful of eggs. Gulping them down, he grinned at her, "Sorry."

"That okay, Harry," Mrs. Weasley smiled at him, "You need to eat up, you still look a little too thin to me." She reached out and patted him on the shoulder.

All too soon, in Harry's opinion, the food was eaten, dished magically clean and off to Hogwarts train they went.

Mr. Weasley, being the new Minister of Magic, arranged for ministry cars to drive them to the train station. As Harry peered out of the car window at the bleary country side, he wondered what this school year held in store for him.

_Hogwarts… _

The morning sunshine danced merrily along the corridors of Hogwarts, birds chirped a sweet little tune, as the Squid splashed lazily in the lake.

None of this joyous behavior was reflected on the grouchy face of one Professor Severus Snape as he tried to enjoy what was left of his summer.

Snape slammed around his private office, located across from his bedroom, as he quickly finished a few personal correspondences.

The incompetent terrors that made his professional life miserable will be arriving this evening and of course Albus wants to have an early morning staff meeting over breakfast!

Snape enjoyed eating in his own, personal dinning room the food that his beloved house elf, Twinkle, prepared for him.

Snape threw his cloak on and strode out of his beloved sanctuary, giving it one last, longing look as he closed the portrait door.

His private quarters, which he liked to think of as his sanctuary, comprised of two floors. The bedrooms with four of the baths upstairs while the living areas and the other bathroom made up the downstairs.

Four bedrooms, five baths, a library, kitchen, dining room, den, office, and private potions laboratory make up his lovely sanctuary, and he really can't wait to get back to it.

With a heavy sigh, Snape swept through the dungeons, up the stairs and to the all too bright staff room.

"Severus, my boy!" Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster and old coot extraordinaire, all but chirped when he saw Snape slip soundlessly through the staff room's big oak door. "We were about to send out a search party for you."

The entire faculty was seated around a conjured up table laden with every possible breakfast food and then some. The only seat left was right next to none other than Professor Trelawney, and Snape glared at her before gliding dark and swiftly into the chair next to her.

Old bat has some sort of perverted fascination with me, Snape swallowed apprehensively, like he did every time he was forced into Trelawney's disgusting presence.

He stomach lurched as she licked her fork suggestively towards him.

Oh, that was so disgusting, Snape barely repressed a shiver. Looking to his right was no better, there in all his smug glory was Professor I-stole-the-job-you-really-really-wanted-for-ever-so-long Lupin.

I'm surrounded! Snape glared at Lupin's handsome smiling face and tried to keep from gorging his eyes out with a fork.

It was really going to be a long year!

"So, Severus," Remus's deep baritone boomed in his left ear, causing Snape to shiver and grit his teeth. "Did you sleep well last night?"

Lupin leaned forward with one eye brow dashingly raised, leaning one muscled arm against the back of Snape's chair. Effectively pinning Snape in and forcing him to breath in Lupin's expensive cologne.

Snape stared straight ahead, his face twisted in a sour expression. He was all too aware of Dumbledore's twinkling gaze and Minerva's greater-then-thou expression.

"Very Well," Snape gritted out between his pursed lips. He hated social gathering with their forced platitudes.

"And you?" Snape managed to choke out.

Snape was trying not to vomit at the approving look that Albus was shooting his way for practicing what Albus's had started to call friendly work-place etiquette.

Work-place etiquette was a horrible new idea that Albus had happened upon in some unfortunate manner and was really hounding everyone to practice.

Damn muggles and their stupid forward thinking ideals! Snape forcibly exhaled through his nostrils. Plah, what did they know about the wizarding workplace!

Snape tried to explain this to Albus, but would he listen, Oh No!

"Not so good, my friend," Lupin sighed with such sugary sadness that made Snape wanted to hurl him out of the Astronomy Tower. "I waited for you and waited, for hours last night."

He leaned even closer; his breathe stirring Snape's greasy hair. Snape continued to stare stonily straight in front of him.

Snape was forced to interact with that damn werewolf but he would not look at Lupin anymore than he had too.

And he absolutely refused to allow that werewolf to chase him out of the place he called home for over 20 years!

Snape laid his wand hand on the table to keep it from twitching.

This type of fake affectionate behavior had become some sort of humiliating routine for the jackass! Pretending to be concerned about Snapes welfare and all acting friendly and supportive! It was disgusting!

I hate him, Snape venomously thought, I hate him! I hate, hate, hate him!

"Till midnight," Lupin whispered. "And then I became alarmed and raced down to the dungeons to check on your well-being."

"Almost fell," This part was aimed at Madam Pomphrey, who simply adored the dashing werewolf.

"Severus," Professor Dumbledore exclaimed, obviously buying the bag o' lies the handsome brunette was selling. "I thought you were going to make the werewolf calming draught for Remus last night?"

"And I did," Snape shot back, feeling quite put upon. "I left it in the potions lab. All he had to do was walk down and get it!"

"Severus, that's not very friendly or conducive to a healthy workplace," Minerva chimed in, malicious delight shining on her wrinkled face. She loved watching Severus squirm.

Minerva takes the rivalry between her house and mine too personally; Snape shot her a venomous glare. She should just admit that the Slytherins were by far the superior of the two groups and get it over with.

"How was Professor Lupin to know when you had finished the draught," Madam Pomphrey added, all concerned and motherly towards the handsome werewolf, who nodded sadly at her.

Sensing this could go on forever; Snape gritted his teeth and did what no man should ever have to do.

"I apologize, Lupin," The words barely making it out passed his clenched teeth. "I'll bring it up to you next month."

"That will be simply wonderful," Remus breathed into Snapes left ear.

"Wonderful," Dumbledore smiled at the two men. "Remus, you simply must try these waffles…"

Trying to tune out the mindless drivel of his oh-so energetic co-workers, Snape glanced around the table.

Too sugary, too salty, Aha! Snape spied a pink bowl of berries and a silver bowl of whipped cream.

His hand paused over the berries as he deliberated as to which one should eat first, before deciding on a heart-shaped strawberry.

He delicately dipped a bright red strawberry into fluffy snow white whipped cream and popped the tart fruit into his mouth. Hmmm, delicious!

Unbeknownst to him, amber colored eyes watched every move Snape made.

Remus licked his lips as he watched Severus close his eyes and savor the taste of the bright red fruit.

Those magic berry bushes I purchased in Ireland were worth every Knut, Remus thought with a hungry sigh.

Lupin was really happy and felt it was worth all the effort he poured into growing them as he watched the Snape devour another bright berry.

Lupin sighed, how he would like to devour the pale, slender man sitting next to him.

Snape, ignorant of all the steamy glances being thrown his way, grinned and was about to reach for another bite of fruit when, with a hoot and a sweeping shadow, a brown and cream colored owl dropped a small brown package onto his plate.

Growling, as he tends to do at everything, Snape snatched up his package and decided that he had enough breakfast and swept out the door before anyone could stop him.

_In the Dungeons…_

In the cool, dark comfort of his potion's classroom, Snape relaxed behind his desk and with two quick slashes of his wand, he opened his mail.

It contained a small blue bottle and two pieces of parchment.

Snape held the bottle up to the light, unable to determine the contents, he went on to read the first piece of parchment.

Professor Severus S. Snape

_Potions Master, Hogwarts_

_We, of __the Potions Guild__ are writing to inform you that a new potion has been brought to our attention. Its creator, Potion Mistress Marilyn Maggs, died shortly after making it. Upon her death it was discovered, but she made no note as to what it was meant for, just a list of materials needed in acquiring the potion (which we have included on a separate roll of parchment.)_

_Your expert skills of analysis are greatly needed, Professor Snape. Many of __the Potions__Guild__ have tried but failed to determine what the purpose of the potion is. We are certain you will succeed where others have failed and are well aware that you are up to the challenge._

Nathaniel Leon

_Keeper of Potions_

_The Potions Guld_

"Humm," Snape grinned a totally evil grin. So, the Potion Guild wanted him back in the fold. Probably because most of the Potion's Guild are egotistical windbags and dunderheads that couldn't solve the simplest of puzzles. Well, they finally realized that this potion (like most in their case) needed his penetrating intellect and, of course, he is more than willing to oblige them.

Picking up the crystal blue potion bottle between his forefinger and thumb as if it were the Hope diamond and he a connoisseur of priceless gems, Snape smiled. Today was finally looking up.

_Later that evening in the Great Hall…_

Harry felt contentment wash over him as he surveyed his classmates and friends.

The train ride had been mostly uneventful. Just a nice, pleasant ride on a train.

Hermione had read a book out loud to the rest of them, a humorous volume of hexes she had stumbled across in Diagon Alley.

Harry had bought them all candy and found three Famous Witches and Wizards cards he'd been looking for. Ginny had snuggled up to Neville and Luna had knitted a pair of magic socks that would keep ones feet warm even in below zero weather.

Now, they were all seated at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. His sixth year was about to start, and he could feel, for the first time, the giddy lightness that everyone else must feel at the start of a new term.

Maybe I'll be alright after all, he thought, forking a heaping bite of mashed potatoes into his mouth. Happiness and contentment, he thought as he smiled at Ron who was seated across the table from him, may be within his reach…

_The Slytherin Table…_

Draco Malfoy watched the girl of his dreams, who he had been secretly in love with for three years; interact with the giant red-haired boob, Ronald Weasley.

His hand clenched until his knuckles turned white. She belonged with him, _to him_.

His and only his for all eternity.

This year will be different, Draco thought as he watch the light hit her soft, honey brown hair, now there was nothing standing between him and his beloved.

His father and mother had perished at the hand of the dark lord, causing Draco to switch sides in response to their brutal slaying. He still shook with anger when he remembered how they had died

His parents were loyal followers; agreeing with everything Voldemort had stood for, and had done everything the madman asked them to. Yet still, that bastard had slain his parents.

That was all it took for the last remaining Malfory to switch sides and become a spy for the Order of the Phoenix. He even earned a medal after the whole bloody mess was over!

Now, Draco schooled his expression to show none of his violent thought, all he had to do was get that weasel away from his princess, and he had a delightfully devious plan that was almost ready to implement to accomplish just that.

_Seventeen days later…_

For Professor Snape, September the twenty-eighth started out like any other day.

He awoke at precisely 5:00 am, graded students' incomplete and idiotic papers until 7:00am, and then headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast.

He had no idea that today would change his life far more than when he became a spy for Albus Dumbledore or when Voldemort had finally been defeated.

He stormed into the Great Hall and took his customary seat (the only empty one every morning for some godforsaken reason) beside the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, Remus Lupin. Magically, his coffee cup filled with his favorite dark roast coffee.

Snape had already eaten, but his presence was required on the weekdays in the Great Hall to monitor the students for all three meals.

"Good Morning, Severus," Remus Lupin wiped his face as he turned to Snape. "Did you see today's article on Harry? The new journalist for the Daily Prophet did a wonderful in depth article on how he defeated Voldemort."

"Mm." Snape growled turning toward Madam Hooch, and away from Remus, as he angrily took a swig of his dark roast.

Damn that boy! Snape thought, every morning that grubby little prick was in his Advanced Potions class. Snotty little shit! Just the thought of having to teach that _brat_ was enough to make him sick to his stomach. Like father, like son.

Just the thought of that boy made him vomit up the oatmeal he had for breakfast, Snape glared across the Great Hall at Harry Attention-hog Potter. With his unruly dark hair and his fathers ugly face!

Snape growled angrily causing Remus to glance his way with an eyebrow dashingly raised on his disgustingly handsome face.

What had started out as a maybe not too insufferable month had quickly went down the toilet.

Mistress Maggs mystery potion had yet to yield its secrets and every night Snape has been laboring hour after hour over that infernal blue liquid.

I absolutely refuse to give The Potions Guild the satisfaction of allowing this potion to stump me! Snape growled under his breath, earning him yet another curious sideways glance from Remus.

Slamming his coffee cup down, Snape glared at everyone around him and swept out of the Great Hall, heading down to the damp cool dungeons.

Remus watched his Potions Professor sweep like an overgrown bat out of the Great Hall with a slightly bemused look upon his face.

How Remus would love to strip Snape's pale thin body bare and ravish him until he couldn't breathe.

Remus looked down at his plate, feeling the hopelessness of his romantic feelings toward Severus crashing down on him.

_At the Gryffindor Table…_

"Wonder what's crawled up his butt," Ron slurped his fried egg off his fork, earning a double glare from Hermione.

"Ronald Weasley!" Hermione glared at him. "That is no way to talk about a Professor! And that is no way to eat." She daintily wiped her mouth as if to demonstrate proper table etiquette to her fiery boyfriend.

"I just hope he isn't in a bad mood," Neville mumbled. "We've got Advanced Potions with him first thing."

Harry felt the all too familiar sting of pity for the poor sweet Neville. He really was a cutie-pie!

"Don't worry, Neville" Harry grinned encouragingly at his hapless friend. "I'll be your potion's partner today."

Without the threat of Voldemort hanging over his head, Harry soon turned into quite the potions brewer, surprising almost everybody and pissing Professor Snape off, royally.

"Thanks, Harry!" Neville looked so relived.

Harry forgot for a second why no one really wanted to be Neville's lab partner.

"I really appreciate it!" Neville smiled a happy smile at Harry.

Harry smiled happily back.

"It's nothing." Harry stood up and gathered his book bag.

Hermione and Ron were way ahead of him and Neville, bickering as they walked hand in hand out the Great Hall's giant double doors.

"Come on; let's get Snape's ruddy potion's class over with!" Harry said over his shoulder at Neville as he jogged towards the dungeons.

Grinning, Neville gulped down the last of his pumpkin juice and jumped from the Gryffindor table almost tripping on his book bag in his haste to catch up with Harry.

_Down in the dungeons…_

"Today class we will be finishing our work on the Draught of Living Death." Professor Snape turned to the board and began to list the second string of ingredients needed for the Draught of Living Death.

He was in his element, tormenting teenagers. Pausing to enjoy the delicious rush of pure evil, Snape glared at his incompetent and lazy Advanced Potions class.

Excluding the Slytherins, who accomplished everything perfectly and in good time, of course.

"I want this done by the end of class; the inability to do so will result in complete failure of this class." He paused, grinning evilly.

"Submitting to me a draught that doesn't produce the desired effects will result in complete failure of this class," Professor Snape turned to the class, directing his gaze to his most irksome student (seated right beside Potter).

"Whispering directions into your neighbors ear will also result in complete failure of this class, do you comprehend, Potter? Complete and total failure where no whining to the Headmaster will save you from your complete and total failure." The great Professor seated himself behind his desk looking at the class before him.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Begin!" A flurry of movement from the students followed his words and Snape grinned merrily.

Neville Longbottom's hands shook as he began to measure his dragon juices.

He knew somehow that he was going to drop the small vile of liquids before he did it. It may have been the inch of sweat lining his hands or maybe a true premonition.

Anyhow, the small blue vile crashed against the stone floor, splashing its contents everywhere.

Fear rushed through Longbottom's veins as the silky smooth voice of doom snarled, "Longbottom! How is it that you cannot manage to do anything correctly? Must everything fall apart in you slimy little paws?" Professor Snape growled as he stormed around his desk.

"Professor, give him a chance to redo it," Harry Potter growled. His angry green eyes spitting fire at the Professor.

Knowing it would probably be futile, but wanting to see Longbottom suffer a while longer…

"Oh, very well," Professor Snape growled, "Longbottom, you have ten seconds to run into the storage room and collect a new vile of dragon juices."

The boy stood there, stupidly staring at him. Oh, what the hell…

"NOW LONGBOTTOM!!!!" The clumsy boy started a loopy as hell run toward his office.

Professor Snape immediately felt manipulated as he watched Harry grin at Longbottoms retreating back.

Why the hell was Potter acting as if he won some sort of victory for the sniveling snot nosed Longbottom boy. Well, he was going to wipe that grin off Potter's face, once and for all.

Harry, sensing Professor Snape's hard unyielding glare, felt a tingle of apprehension run along his spine. Oh, he was in for it now.

"Mister Potter?" The boy glared at him. "Come over here."

Harry Potter stomped over to where Professor Snape stood by his big oak desk. "Yes, sir?"

"Mister Potter, I have warned you time and time again about speaking out of turn…"

Whatever threat or punishment Professor Snape was going to stow upon Harry's unruly head was interrupted when an eternally clumsy Longbottom came bounding out of Professor Snape's office carrying a crystal blue bottle.

A crystal blue bottle the ignorant prat should never have laid his grubby hands on!

Professor Snape turned toward the prat, his mouth opening to snap at the ignorant fool, just in time to see him slip on the spilled dragon juices and fling the tiny blue bottle that contained Marilyn Maggs mystery potion toward himself and Harry Potter.

In slow motion Professor Snape and Harry Potter watched the bright blue bottle spin towards them. Losing it stopper in the process; showering them with its contents.

Stumbling backwards, Snape right side bumped Potters clenched fist just as the potion struck them.

Feeling a strange and peculiar popping sensation, Snape glanced down at his lower right abdomen and for a moment in time his mind could not comprehend quite what he was seeing.

Potters arm was sticking out of his side.

All of his hand was submerged in his chest.

As if they were conjoined twins.

Potter grubby arm was sticking out of his side! Snape's mind whorled. Oh, this was so not happening.

Logic flew at the window as Snape begin to yank on Potter's wrist to get his hand out.

Looking into Potter's wide shocked eyes, Snape jerked frantically, swinging the now hapless teenager around.

Ignoring the stunned faces of his students, Snape begin to tug at Potter's wrist in earnest.

"Have to get it out!" Snape hissed, frantic. "Get it out!"

"Professor, you need to go to the infirmary…" Hermione and one of the Weasleys, which one he could not in his panic recall, ran to his and Potters side.

"Professor, Stop!" The Weasly boy grabbed at Snape's shoulder, and found that where Snape normally had the strength of a middle-aged man, in his absolute terror, he gained the strength of ten abnormally strong men.

The class watched in wonder as Snape began to spin around and around in circles in an effort to force Potter off.

"You are hurting Harry!"

"Sir, you really must stop!" Somewhere in the back of Snape's frantically whirling head, he recognized the sound of his favorite student and godson, Draco Malfoy.

Who was at that very moment aiding Hermione Granger, the Weasley and a few others in an attempt to restrain him.

"Someone go get Professor Dumbedore..."

Harry managed to trip Snape in a last ditched attempted to stop his thrashing about, and Snape landed on the floor with a thud, glaring in disbelief at the dark haired youth that was straddling his stomach.

The floor began to spin underneath him, even though Snape was lying down.

The voices seem to be fading away as darkness closed in on Snape and he mercifully passed out.

_In the Infirmary…_

Professor Snape was lying in a hospital bed unconscious with a worried looking Harry Potter still attached to him as Headmaster Dumbledore and Madam Pomfery worried over their welfare.

Excluding Harry's wrist buried deep within Professor Snape's right side they could find nothing wrong with them, but no one could tell them what was in the potion bottle Longbottom accidentally thrown at them that has put Professor Snape and Harry Potter in such a state.

"Oh my god," Harry Potter turned an interesting shade of puce as his face began to sweat.

"What is it my dear?" Madam Pomfery rushed over to his aid.

But before she could render any assistance, Harry's arm popped out of Snape's right side with a sickening plop. Leaving behind nothing but smooth pale as buttermilk skin on Professor Snapes thin stomach.

Where the hell just happened? Harry thought in horror, he looked at his hand like he was seeing it for the first time.

"Oh dear, you gave us such a fright!" Madam Pomfery fluttered over to Harry's side. "Is you hand all right? Here, let me see it!"

A shocked Harry stood perfectly still as Madam Pomfery ran test after test on his perfectly normal looking hand.

Headmaster Dumbledore and Remus Lupin (who came a-running when he heard what had happened) watched from the sidelines, a complete baffled look on Albus's normally acute facial features and a look of mind-shattering worry on Remus's.

"Oh, thank the gods you are all right!" Madam Pomfrey pulled Harry into a quick hug and a relieved Headmaster Dumbledore stepped up and patted him on the back.

Remus finally found he could move and went over to stand by Snapes bedside.

Snape looked so fragile and helpless. Remus felt a bewildering sense of worry and fear as he stared down at the man he felt so much affection for.

Affection, Remus shook his head, no; I'm in love with him. I can't believe I didn't realize it until just now. I love the snarky git.

Harry, Albus, and Madam Pomphrey continued to marvel over Harry's hand behind Professor Lupin.

"Yes indeed," said the dear old Headmaster Dumbledore. "I was about to send for more mediwitches from St. Mungos to help separate you two."

As Headmaster Dumbledore and Madam Pomfery tended to Harry and Professor Lupin stood guard over his love, Professor Snape's body was accommodating its precious little visitor…

_In the warm, dark recesses of Professor Snape's newly acquired womb…_

It's so warm, the small sprite wondered, and the light…

She had no little hands, and she could not kick and maneuver about, but she knew she was completely and utterly safe.

And surrounded by music! _Rush, rush, pump_! _Rush, rush, pump_!

The small sprite became aware of a strange gurgling feeling coming from somewhere about her round middle, not pain, not really discomfort, more like a need that somehow it knows that this new place will fill.

Wondrously, she listened to the far away voices rumbling through the walls against which her new bubble of a body bounced

The loudest booming one seemed so very familiar to her.

Her incredibly tiny body bounced this way and that as that safe, familiar voice rumbled back at the far away voices.

_Outside of Professor Snape's newly acquired womb…_

"I'm fine!" Snape growled at Madam Pomphrey and Professor Lupin, who were trying to force him to stay in the hospital bed. "And I'm returning to my classes!"

His pride had begun to sting as soon as he regained consciousness, and accordingly Professor Snape began to struggle to get out of bed.

Oh, Neville Longbottom was going to die! Die, die, die, and die!

He's going to ground his bones into bread and bath in Neville's blood! Snape growled like a wounded bear as he struggled to sit up.

His body felt like it did in his youth after his father had tormented him. He felt both bruised and angry.

Standing up a weird woozy feeling, an odd weakness swept over the pissed off Professor, rendering him silent. For a second.

"Albus, there is something wrong with him, he should lie back down." Professor Lupin exclaimed as he watched Snape struggle to stand.

The moment passes and everything is righted for Professor Snape.

"Never mind, it must have been where I stood up to fast." Snape growled waving his had in a dismissing fashion at the three nervous nellie's surrounding him.

"Are you sure, Severus?" Professor Dumbledore came around to where Professor Snape stands with his hand over his right side.

"Maybe you should let Madam Pomfery give you a once over, just to be on the safe side. I'd hate for you to collapse again." Dumbledore laid a fatherly hand on Severus's shoulder.

Madam Pomphery grinned and started forward, but one ill-tempered glare sent her scurrying away.

"Maybe you should let her do her job, Severus," Remus stood on the end of the bed with an odd sort of gleam in his eye.

A gleam that Snape didn't feel all that comfortable with, to tell the truth.

"I'm fine, Albus," Professor Snape growled, ignoring the all-too-handsome Lupin, "It'll take more than a snot nosed brat to make an invalid of me."

Leading one and all to believe he meant either Longbottom or Potter with that comment.

Swishing his cloak, he stormed past a worried Dumbledore, a disproving Pomphrey, and a determined Professor Lupin.

_Back in the dungeons…_

Professor Snape angrily began to clean up what was left of Marilyn Magg's potion. Realizing that there was really nothing to be done, he chucked the whole lot in the trash.

Better to start Marilyn Magg's potion from scratch, Professor Snape growled in his head as he overlooked the wreckage. No way to salvage any of this mess.

As Professor Snape turned to head back to his office to await his next class, a strange dizzy sort of shifting fell over him.

Clutching the frame of the door, Professor Snape tried in vain to steady himself as the floor rushed up to greet him.

The last thing Snape heard, before the darkness overtook him was heavy footsteps and a deeply concerned, all too familiar voice exclaiming his name.

_Back in the infirmary…_

"I found him collapsed on the floor!" A worried Remus Lupin exclaimed. "I was going to try to convince him to go back to the infirmary and found him crumpled on the ground."

Professor Lupon stood at the foot of the hospital bed that Professor Snape was stretched across, a look of abject terror on his handsome face.

"Don't worry, deary," Madam Pomfery soothed as she ran a mystical looking forked branch over Snape's prone body. "I'm sure it's nothing more than…"

The branch jerked over Professor Snape's right side.

"What?! This can't be!!"

_Three days later…_

_Severus Snape's nightmare…_

Professor Snape glared out of the Library's window. I wish they would just leave me alone…

"Professor Snape?" a small voice ventured behind him.

Turning he saw a small girl with straight black hair and bright green eyes. She was wearing Slytherin robes.

"What is it?" he snapped at her.

"Today, did you mean it?" She whispers as she steps closer.

"Mean what?" Snape huffed. "Speak up, girl!"

Suddenly she was right up on him.

"Did you mean it?" She sobbed, holding up bloody hands, "Did you mean it?"

Suddenly, as if an invisible hook yanked at her from behind, she went flying back, spilling blood everywhere.

_Three Days later…_

_Down in Professor Snape's rooms…_

"No!" Professor Snape screamed as he jerked up in bed. He looked around. He was in the safty of his rooms. Breathing a hefty sigh, Snape dropped back onto his green pillow.

Sleep was beyond him now and his half awake brain started to dance around his head.

Ever since he was confronted with what had happened to him, he knew what he was going to do about it.

He had stared brewing the potion that day. He intended to fix this mistake.

And now the damn potion was ready to take, but something was holding him back.

Pregnant was something he should not tolerate being, Snape growled and flopped onto his side.

Closing his eyes he remembered the look in Madam Pomphrey's eyes when she told him.

_Flashback to that first dreadful day…_

"Somehow, you're pregnant," Madam Pomphrey said in a wondrous voice, looking down at him where he lay on the hospital bed like he was some kind of living miracle.

"Wow," Lupin whistled under his breath, bringing Snape's sudden and terrible wrath upon him.

"Get out, you smelly werewolf!" He howled at the tall handsome brunette. "Right now!"

'You had better leave now, Remus," a kindly voice said from the corner of the room. "Let's not upset Severus any more than he already is."

Headmaster Dumbledore ushered the reluctant Professor Lupin out and returned in a flash. His eyes were a twinkling and his mouth was in a happy curl.

"Severus, think about this," Albus whispered sitting in the chair beside Snape's hospital bed.

"You will make history. The first male to carry his own child within his body. It's a miracle." Albus looked like his was going to burst into tears.

"Right here in my own school," Dumbledore cried into a purple tissue.

"We'll see the birth of a new age, the beginning of hope for all the gay wizards who thought they would never have children." Madam Pomphrey looked way to happy for Severus's likening.

Anger flooded every cell in his body, this was not happening! He would not allow this to happen!

"I'm not keeping it!" Snape shrieked and flung himself out of that damn hospital bed.

Then he all but flew out of the infirmary, like the room was on fire.

Pointy ignoring Albus and Madam Pomphrey's cries to stop, come back, Snape resembled a great bat as he fled down the corridor, pasting that stupidly handsome werewolf on the stairs.

He did not slow down or stop until he made it to the sweet sanctuary of his quarters.

_End of flashback…_

_Back in Snape's bedroom…_

Looking back that day seemed to speed past him. His mind had whorled within his head and disapproval showered down on him from all sides.

Because that busy body, Madam Pomphrey, had the audacity to tell everyone she could find that the baby was Potter's and that Snape was planning to have an abortion.

Resulting in the entire faculty treating Snape like the anti-christ.

On the evening of that first dreadful day, Professor Dumbledore had walked in on Severus as he was putting the finishing touches on the abortion potion.

Albus simply looked at him, turned around and walked out.

Potter didn't find out about the miraculous pregnancy until the morning of the second day, when Professor Dumbledore had sat him down and explained the whole ruddy mess to him, ending with the assumed abortion.

The look in Potter's eyes when he confronted him not ten minutes later, that soulless look in the boys eyes, cut right though the Professor.

Harry had looked like Snape had ripped out the boy's very soul and shat on it.

_Flashback to the day after Snape learned he was pregnant…_

_(The second day)…_

_Snape's potions classroom…_

Snape didn't notice Harry was even in the room until the teenager was upon him.

"You monster." Harry grabbed the professor's arm. "That was my unborn child you murdered."

Professor Snape jerked his arm out of his grasp. "Mister Potter, that abomination of nature was not meant to be born, and frankly you're out of line. That wasn't your baby; it's was not even a baby in any sense of the word."

"Now remove yourself from my presence before I deduct points from Gryffindor!" Snape glared angrily at the sixteen year old brat.

"Noo," Harry had broken down by then and few into a rage, grasping at Professor Snape's robes and shaking him.

Snape was unable to wrestle the boy off or reach his wand where he had left it on his desk. The sixteen year old seemed to be possessing of some kind of crazy strength.

Just when he thought he was going to pass out, he saw a flash of purple and knew Albus wouldn't let The-Boy-Who-Lived murder him.

"Mister Potter," The kind soothing voice of Professor Dumbledore cut threw the frenzy that was building up in Harry Potter.

"Please, let go of Professor Snape and come with me." Gently Professor Dumbledore pulled him away from the crumpled form of the Potion's Professor and half-drug half-carried Harry out of the room.

_Back to the Third day…_

_In Professor Snapes' quarters…_

Now at 2:00 am on the third day, Snape groaned and tried to go back to sleep, but knew it was futile, there was no getting back to sleep. His troubles were too heavy for him to sleep peacefully.

Throwing back the covers he strode over to where he placed the potion.

It was silently resting on top of his 200 year old oak vanity that Great Grandfather made for Great Grandmother shortly after they had wed.

"This is the best thing for the child." Picking up the bottle in his right hand, he let his left rest over his right side. "It would more than likely be terribly deformed."

His hand shook as he brought the bottle to his lips.

Drink it, Damnit! His hand shook with fury. Fuck it!

Violently he threw the bottle against the wall.

Tears stream down his face as he fell to his knees.

After all that he has done that he has had to live with, this was one thing that he simply cannot do.

His child will live.

_Forty years ago… _

It was cold in the room where Snape's father had locked him.

The wall, a bare brick, no windows. In one corner of the room, on the cold stone floor, was a pile of feces and specs of urine.

He had not eaten in days. It was dark, and the boy could not see the blood stains on the walls and his clothes from the continuous beatings he has had to endure.

But the boy didn't cry and beg to be let out, at age five Severus Snape had accepted his fate and no longer fought the walls that were closing in on him.

Instead, he embraced them and, over the years, erected walls around his heart twice as thick and cold as the ones his father had used to torture him with.

But old walls have a way of toppling down, especially when there is a determined sprite stubbornly beating her hard little head against them.

_Day five…_

_Back in the darkness of the dungeons…_

_In Professor Snape's potion's classroom…_

Two more days have passed and still it seems unreal.

It probably won't live much longer anyway, Snape thought. No real need to do anything about it.

Everyone already believes I've gotten rid of it. And from the expression on some of the faculty's faces ever since, no one was too happy about his supposed abortion.

Especially, Lupin, who hasn't talked to him since and that bothered Snape for some reason.

And the fact that Lupin ignoring him had the power to bother him pissed Snape off!

Well, who the hell cares what that pompous werewolf thinks. Snape smoothed out his wizarding robes. I sure as hell do not!

What they don't know won't inconvenience me, Snape thought as he lined up the ingredients up for next class.

Shaking his head, Professor Snape finished laying out the potion ingredients.

Potter still won't look me in the eye, Professor Snape thought guiltily, as he walked back to his desk.

I'm not sure how I feel about that. Maybe I should tell him…No, there's no need. The child would most certainly die. Men are not equipped with what a baby needs to develop.

Professor Snape seated himself behind his desk as he waited for his class to come streaming in. Settling himself into his comfortable chair he whipped out his favorite digest, Potion's Weekly.

He began to quietly read out loud his newest issue of Potion's Weekly (a habit he started when he was only eight years old and never grew out of) when a childish giggle made him jerk up in his chair.

Storming to the other side of his desk he bellowed, "Come out right this instant before I give you detention on top of the 20 points that will be deducted from your house. This had better not be you, Potter, hiding under your damn invisibility cloak."

Jogging, he began to climb up the stairs that go up to the back of the class stopping at every level to check under each row of desks. "Come out right this instant!!"

The giggling had stopped. Professor Snape felt the room was indeed empty and he prided himself on his ability to tell if there was someone nearby or not.

Maybe they snuck out already….

Probably Potter, damned piss ant of a boy, Snape growled, trying to punish me some more for supposedly murdering their baby.

Grumbling under his breath about Potter and Weasley, Professor Snape stomped back to his desk and checked the time; 29 more minutes until class was to start.

Yanking his Potion's Weekly up from where it landed face down on the floor, he warily looked around.

After a few minutes he began to read under his breath again.

"Heee hee hee," the little giggling voice started again.

Only this time he could see where it was coming from.

"Oh my god!"

_About ten minutes later…_

_Headmaster's Office…_

"What do you mean, you can't see her?" Professor Snape bellowed at Professor Dumbledore. "She's breaking one of your toys right under your nose!"

"I see the wreckage, but not the child," and indeed Albus could not.

Only Severus Snape could see the thin naked little hellion, who appeared to be about two years old and naked as a jay bird. She was fuzzy about the edges and a complete blur when she moved, but was a very adorable, none the less.

An adorable little sprite, who was at this very moment, rifling through Professor Dumbledore's desk.

"Stop that, right now!" Snape pointed a long finger at the ornery little one.

Looking up at her father, the little vixen grinned a Harry Potter heart-stopping grin. "Na, na, na, na, Na!" She sassed him over her shoulder; wriggling both a tiny finger and a tiny butt back at him.

"Why you snotty little brat!" Snape roared and shot out of his chair, fully intending to snatch up his misbehaving little devil.

"Severus!" Professor Dumbledore snapped at him, forcing Snape to step back with the force of his disapproving glare.

"You made her the ghost that she is; you can not run around snarling names at her for her lack of maturity." Headmaster Dumbledore stood up and surveyed the damage that Snape's unborn daughter was wreaking in his once pristine office.

"Albus, the little monster just…" Severus argued, stopping mid-sentence as realization of what Professor Dumbledore said,

"Albus, I didn't make her a--" Snape tried to explain, but was cut short by the angry shaking head of his mentor.

"Let's not argue about this," warily Professor Dumbledore walked around his desk, herding a flabbergasted Snape toward the door.

"I'll need to inform the Ministry of Magic about Hogwarts' new poltergeist. As well as Mister Potter." The last bit came out with an uncomfortable sigh from the saddened Professor.

"But, Albus," Professor Snape wanted to explain.

"Really, Professor Snape, there's nothing you can say that will make this situation better," Headmaster Dumbledore looked 200 years old as he all but pushed Snape out the door.

"You'll just have to deal with our little ghost's tantrums form time to time, as will we all." Headmaster Dumbledore sadly shook his bearded head.

"But…" was the last thing Professor Snape got out before the door slammed in his face.

Slipping through Professor Dumbledore's door, Little One grinned up at him sleepily. Yawning she floated up to his middle and disappeared into his right side.

"Fantastic,"Snape growled, rubbing a hand over his face. "At least I know my luck is still holding."

And with a flash of his black cloak Snape headed down the corridor and back to his class (which was probably ¾ of the way through completely wreaking the potions classroom).

A resolution started to burn in his brain.

He was going to make Albus listen to him!

First thing tomorrow, with Madam Pomphrey in tow, Snape was going to prove that Little One was still alive and thriving.

But right now, Snape was on his way to terrorize a group of incompetent first years.

_Later that night in the sanctuary of Snape's private rooms…_

Still peeved with the way the headmaster treated him, Snape hurled himself into his bedroom with an angry, you guessed it, growl.

"Ghost! You're no more a ghost then I am Potter's biggest fan!"

Snape was in the process of getting ready for bed, directing all his ranting at his right side with a poke of his finger.

"Not a ghost (_poke_), confused spirit (_poke_), or lost soul (_poke, poke_)."

Jerking his old-fashioned nightgown over his head, "You're a brat, that's what you are! And I should know, I'm been up to my neck in them for over 20 years."

Snarling at himself in the mirror, he spat out the spell necessary to off the lights.

_Next day…_

Storming Severus Snape entered his classroom for his first class of the day about twenty minutes late.

"What are you doing!" he bellowed at the ruckus the first year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were making.

"50 points from each Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws! And get to your seats!"

After the class was settled into their assignment, Professor Snape wondered what he was going to do about Little One. The child was tormenting him…

At 2:00 this morning, Little One had decided he had slept long enough and that he needed something wet and slimy first thing in the morning.

He can just see the little snot, pondering on what evil to bestow upon him.

In his mind's eye, he can see her big eyes as green as emeralds gleam as Little One surveyed her weapon of choice (the glass jars lining the selves in his office.)

Never will he forget the feeling of all that slime and filth hitting his body. Or the "hee hees" and "Na, na, Naas" that followed as he chased the slippery little snot around the room, forgetting in his dripping rage that he couldn't catch her (but by Merlin, he had _tried!_)

To top off the ordeal, he was forced to bathe which made him late for the rest of the day, and thus unable to confront Albus.

Almost passed out when the water hit his face. Another little legacy from his bastard of a father, Snape thought, this helpless and extreme fear of being submersed in water, naked and drowning.

Thank Merlin, she's finally asleep. Snape thought to himself as he rubbed his side.

Must have been the extremely large breakfast he uncharacteristically consumed before heading to class (though Merlin knows it could have been from the jolly good time she had this morning!)

Professor Snape isn't sure how he knows it to be true, but right now the naked little hellion was fast asleep.

Probably dreaming of how else she can torment me, Snape snorted.

Crouching low in his seat, Snape began to intently glare at his class, enjoying the looks of pure terror from any unfortunate child who happened to make eye contact.

Twenty enjoyable minutes passed as such, when there was a thud at the door.

"Professor Snape!!" An angry as all get out Harry Potter came storming in. "You Rat Bastard!" He screamed at him, running at him with the devil in his eye.

"Mister Potter! Wait one damn min--" KA-POWW!

No one really understood, least of all Snape, what up until now only Voldemort understood.

That Harry Potter was one hell of a wicked adversary.

If Snape had only known, maybe he could have ducked the evil right hook that smashed into his jaw and sent him crashing to the floor.

_Once again, at the infirmary…_

"Uh…where am I?" muttered a dazed Snape. "Potter! 120 points from Gryffindor…."

"That won't be necessary, Severus," Professor Dumbledore smiled down at the semi-conscious Potions Master. "It seems Mister Potter may have clocked you a good one, but he's really torn up over it."

"Well he should be! I hope you have his unruly head on the next train back home!" Snape struggled to sit up. "The nerve of the little…"

"Now, Severus," Professor Dumbledore soothed. "He thought his child had been sentenced to a ghost's imprisonment. He was distraught…"

"He thought….What!?" Snape tried to fly into denial.

"Severus, we know the baby's still alive," Professor Dumbledore grinned merrily. "Madam Pomfery found out when she examined you after Remus brought you in."

"Remus Lupin?" Snape's hand covered his right side, which he absently stroked.

He missed the look that crossed Professor Dumbledore's face as he observed the protective gesture.

"Yes, Professor Lupin pulled Harry off you." Professor Dumbledore leaned forward, "Severus, why did you let us believe you had terminated your pregnancy?"

Professor Snape snapped to attention.

"For just that reason! All my colleges and those nasty little brats poking fun at this! More of this unwanted touchy-feely moments with you!" Professor Snape leaped out of bed.

"On top of that, this child might still die, or worse be terribly deformed! And then it would be in the news: Man gives birth to deformed baby!"

Shrugging into his robes, he bellowed: "I just want to be left alone with what's left of my privacy!"

With that Professor Snape stormed out.

_In the sanctuary (Snape's rooms)…_

Seated at his desk after managing to make it to the dungeons without running into anyone, Professor Snape pondered the "weirdness" that has taken over his life.

It isn't an entirely bad thing, the professor thought; I will no longer have to worry about my family ending with me…

If only the little menace would _stop that_, Professor Snape thought, ducking just in time as a book flew by his head.

Professor Snape knew better than to give any reaction to the miniature tornado that the dark haired monster had made out of what was once a pile of graded, ready-to-return parchments on the different uses for dragon's blood.

This day couldn't sink any faster, Snape thought as he absently scratched the brim of his nose. Thank Merlin it's almost over.

No sooner had he thought those thoughts that the door to his sanctuary (his office door) swung wide open and let in more insanity in the form of Professor Dumbledore, Harry Potter, his godfather Sirius Black, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Professor Lupin, Mr. Weasley (the new Minister of Magic) and his wife Mrs. Weasley, and, bringing up the rear, an unknown witch and wizard.

The shit's storming tonight, Professor Snape thought as they closed in on him.

"Professor Snape," Arthur Weasley has never sounded so enthused as he sat down across from Snape.

The group looked in wonder at the mini tornado Little One was hell bent on driving her daddy insane with.

"Yes, Mr. Weasley," Professor Snape drawled. Raising an eyebrow at the strange sight before him:

The unknown witch and wizard, without asking permission, was setting little disk shaped objects around the outside of the group.

For some reason, Harry, Sirius, Remus, Ron, Mrs. Weasly and Hermione were walking around bent over and waving their arms at the stone flooring like some poor muggle dope that has lost a contact.

And to top it all off, Headmaster Dumbledore's head could not be seen as he had dove head first into a large bag decorated with dozens of laughing teddy bears that he had brought with him into Severus's office.

He was apparently in hot pursuit of something way at the bottom of the charmed bag. (His efforts were tickling the bears into fits of breathless laughter.)

"It has been brought to our attention that your baby has been gifted with prenatal telekinesis along with the ability to astrally project her image." Mr. Weasley drew a deep breath as if preparing to mount his soapbox.

"I already knew that." Growled Snape. "Who are they?" He nodded to the couple who had just finished setting up disks along the perimeter of his office.

"Allow me to introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. LillyWater," Professor Dumbledore paused in digging through his bag.

"They are experts in the field of prenatal telekinesis and are going to help us understand and accommodate the newest little addition to Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." His head disappeared back into the bag.

Mr. LillyWater grinned and offered his hand, "Your case is especially intriguing. Your pregnancy alone would make a wonderful case study, but the nature of your child's gifts…You must be so proud!"

Professor Snape ignored the offered hand and glared at the disks laid about his sanctuary.

"And what are those--" Quickly he ducked a flying book that Little One had aimed with careful precision for the top of his head.

"Those objects supposed to do?" Pointly ignoring the tiny hand shooting out of the tornado to snatch up his pen.

"With the right incantation," Mrs. LillyWater's elegant voice carried from where she stood by Harry, Ron, Mrs. Weasley, and Hermione, "these _objects_, as you called them, should project the child's thoughts magically to the rest of the people within the boundary of the Pyscomagic Orbs."

"Theoretically, allowing the rest of us to see and hear her," Mr. LillyWater butted in, going to hold the hand of Hermione and Mrs. LillyWater. "Now we just have to give it a go."

"Albus, if you will," Mrs. Weasley held out her free hand.

Jumping up, the headmaster took her hand and that of Mrs. LillyWater to complete the circle the group had formed.

"Serverus, would you—"Albus was about to force him to join, and Snape just couldn't bear the thought of looking that stupid.

"No!" Professor Snape growled trying to sound final and absolute, earning him a raised eyebrow from the handsome Professor Lupin.

"Aaah, come on, Snape," Sirius taunted, "Are you scared?"

God he hated the man, Snape growled and flung his hand as quickly as he could into the mini-tornado that was his demon spawn's doing.

Snape's fingers snagged his favorite grading pen, but, alas, not quickly enough. Little One quickly grabbed the other end of the pen and had no intention of letting her Daddy have it back.

Ignoring the group in front of him, Snape threw himself into a fight to the death with the mini tornado for his pen.

"I've been put through enough nonsense today." Snape snarled at everyone that was ruining his life, meaning everyone in the room.

Harry shot him a filthy look, which Snape countered with a pointly raised eyebrow.

"We don't need him," Mrs. LillyWater exclaimed. "His bond with the child could interfere with the process."

"Yes, indeed," Mr. LillyWater agreed. "Let's begin! Just like we practiced in Professor Dumbledore's office."

The last bit was aimed at a nervous looking Ron and Harry.

As one their voices lended themselves to the chant.

Well you can tell they practiced, thought a tried Snape, giving up on his pen for now.

With a raised eyebrow, Snape watched his naked offspring dance her way across his desk.

Little One was shooting silly grins at him as she shook his ink well with all her might

Suddenly the disks glowed a bright blue that washed over the whole room before disappearing.

Well, at least they didn't blow up the classroom, Snape thought as he rested his chin on his right hand.

Then, as one, Professor Dumbledore and company noticed the dancing naked baby.

Harry stood shock still, watching his precious child torment Snape with a look of true wonder on his face.

"Oh, she's so darling!" Remus exclaimed. "Looks just like you did as a baby, Harry. Don't you think so, Sirius?"

"She's beautiful," Sirius breathed as he watched his soon to be goddaughter try to get each and every one of them with a spray of black ink.

Hermione, Mrs. Weasley, Mrs. LillyWater, and Dumbledore, surrounded Little One next, oohing and aahing at her tiny perfect features and amusing facial expressions.

"She's so ornery!" Mrs. Weasley exclaimed as Little One stuck her tongue out at them. "She reminds me of Fred and George at that age."

"Too bad I can't hold her." Harry was right; even though everyone could see Little One no one could touch her.

"Just as well," Snape drawled from his bent over position.

He was busy trying to pick up all the pieces of wreckage that was once the contents of his desk. "She'd probably bite you."

"Na, na!" Little One exclaimed and flew over to her Daddy disappearing into his side.

"She seems to be enthralled with you, Professor," Mr. LillyWater observed.

"Albus," Mrs. LillyWater produced a black silk bag. "Would you like Mr. LillyWater and I to secure more areas around Hogwarts?"

"Yes!" Professor Dumbledore still hadn't found what he was looking for in the bag.

"In all the classrooms, including Hargrid's Hut, the Great Hall, the stairs, and the main corridors," his head disappeared back into the bag only to pop back out, "Oh! And my office."

"Hopefully, the little monster will spread her reign of terror to include every resident of Hogwarts." Snape had put his desk to rights, including the rolls of graded parchments.

Out of his side poked a little curly top, "Na, na?"

"Yes, I mean you!" Snape mumbled at his side, preoccupied with the fourth year class's homework he had begun to grade. (He wisely hid them in a secret compartment in his desk.)

He missed the looks the group shot his way.

"You can't talk to a baby that way," Mrs. Weasley admonished. "She'll think that's the way you're supposed to talk to people."

"So?" Snape didn't even bother to look up from grading his papers.

"You see, Mr. Weasley!" Harry growled. "He's unfit to carry my baby."

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Professor Snape was finally paying attention to his unwanted guests.

"Mister Potter petitioned the Ministry of Magic for full custody of his child." Mr. Weasley looked very somber.

"You've done what!?" Snape's voice was very low, anger apparent in his taut facial features.

"You don't want her or care for her like I do!" Harry shouted with pent up rage. "To you her life is disposable!"

"You little—"

"Now, now!" Professor Dumbledore interjected. "Let's not say or do anything to aggravate this already difficult situation."

Mr. LillyWater came around to stand beside Snape, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I think I know of a way to settle this. Has either of you considered marriage?"

"Sir, kindly remove your hand from my shoulder! And step away from me!" Snape's pale complexion went a soft gray color.

"Mr. LillyWater!" Mrs. Weasley squealed. "You don't honestly believe the solution to this problem is to marry a 16 year old to a man almost three times his senior! And his professor to boot!"

"Now, now!" Mr. Weasley interrupted. "This could be the best thing for all three of them."

"How do you mean?" Ron asked, looking at his father with the most shocked look on his confused face.

"Harry," Professor Dumbledore piped up. "Do you plan to go on to work after you graduate?"

"Yes.." Harry croaked, not liking where this was headed.

"Think about it for a while, you two." Headmaster Dumbledore stepped closer to Snape. "Just consider the idea of marriage."

"It could be a marriage in name only," Mrs. Weasley added, warming up to the idea.

"Harry, you could wait a year before getting a job," the headmaster continued. "Working for me and around the school will get you good credentials for when you finally do head out into the work force."

Professor Snape huffed. Headmaster Dumbledore turned to him.

"And how do you plan to take care of the baby and teach potion classes? Hmm?"

Professor Snape looked at the back wall, not meeting anyone's eyes.

"It can be annulled," Mr. Weasley added. "No one would think anything of it."

"Best that the baby has two parents." Mr. Weasley stated as if that was the final word on the subject.

Harry's head was swimming. Hermione looked thoughtful and Ron looked at a lost for words.

"Let's stop for this nonsense right now," Professor Lupin announced angrily, "Harry is not marrying Severus! They don't need to marry. Harry has a whole family willing to help him and Severus has an entire faculty that would be more than willing to help with the baby."

"I agree," Sirius huffed. "Harry is not marrying Snape, ever!"

Harry looked at Sirius with relief in his big green eyes.

"Yeah," Harry stated with a tremble in his voice. "We could have spit custody, I guess."

"I agree with Potter," Snape said with his head resting in his hands. "We will share custody if all this marriage talk would just stop!"

"I think you may be right (Snape huffs)," Professor Dumbledore whipped out his wand and tapped it against his thigh. "That may be the best arrangement. Shared custody is the solution to this predicament."

"Yes!" Ron found his voice, "Harry and Professor Snape should not get married, they should just share custody." He sounded so relieved.

"A child is a blessing," Albus waxed on swinging his wand between Harry and the Professor. "You two really need this child. She will bring you both back into the world of the living and give you the happiness you two deserve."

Dumbledore's voice grew soft with concern and he looked Snape straight in the eye. "You've paid for all you mistakes. Close the door to that part of you life, and move on."

"..Albus..." Snape stared at the floor.

"Give it a chance." Albus implored. "For all three of you."

Snape's chest tightened as he met Albus's eyes. Pulling out his wand, Snape looked at Potter as comprehension started to dawn in Harry's eyes. Harry swallowed and pulled out his wand.

"Alright," Professor Snape nodded pointing his wand at Potter and Potter did the same. "I promise to share custody of my child with Harry Potter. On my life, she will have two parents."

Looking Harry in the eye, Dumbledore waited.

"Professor Snape and I will share custody," Harry agreed and felt magic swirl around himself and Professor Snape. "On my life, she will know both her parents."

Harry and Severus had entered into a wizarding oath.

Releasing the breath he'd been holding, Headmaster Dumbledore returned his wand to his pocket and smiled at Harry and Severus.

"Thank Merlin!" He exclaimed. "Now I bet you're wondering what I have in this bag…hmm." Dumbledore looked up at Snape expectantly.

Professor Snape, looking utterly resigned, said, "What's in the bag, Albus."

"Things to make your life easier, my friend."

"But first," Albus stood up quickly, "What room are you going to make into the baby's nursery?"

"I don't have a free room."

"What do you mean," Remus exclaimed. "You have four very nice bedrooms here. Just make one of them into her bedroom. Albus has bought her a lot of very nice things."

"I'm using all four of my rooms," Snape snapped at the interfering werewolf, before going around to seat himself behind his desk. "I don't have the room for any of this infernal nonsense."

"Now, Severus," Dumbledore chided him. "You are simply going to have to give her a room. Move some of your things into storage," Snape stopped him with a glare.

"Things you don't use all that often." Remus leaned against Snape's desk and winked at him. Snape ignored this tom foolery and returned his attention to grading essays.

"You'll just have to move," Sirius chimed in. "There are many suites in a castle this size, pick another one."

Snape didn't bother to acknowledge such an ignorant statement. He loved his home and had no intentions of moving. He'll cross those bridges when he gets to them.

"The never ending demands I put up with." Snape muttered, returning to his grading.

Dumbledore looked down at Severus bent head and sighed; this may take a little longer than he thought.

"Okay! I'll let it be," Professor Dumbledore sighed.

"Oh! My Goodness, look at the time!" He jumped up as if someone charmed his robes to bite him on the rump. "We must all be going if we want to place the rest of the Pyscomagic Orbs around the school tonight. We simply must be off."

The group made their way to the door reluctantly. Very reluctantly on the part of one sexually frustrated werewolf.

Dumbledore paused at the door, and sighed a heartfelt sigh, "And I wanted to see your face when I showed you the simply wonderful toys and whatnots I bought for the baby!"

"That's all right, Albus," Snape muttered as he viciously slashed away at some poor student's paper. "Just leave it there; I'm sure Little One will scatter the contents about my room in the middle of the night,"

Snape looked up at Dumbledore, "After she gets her second wind." He grinned evilly.

_In the corridor…_

"Little One," Remus spoke very quietly as he followed the group out towards the great hall. He glanced back over his shoulder at the portrait that was guarding Snape's quarters.

"Severus, you're already in love and you don't even know it!"

_In Snape's sanctuary…_

Snape dragged the heavy teddy bear bag into his bedroom. Receiving angry looks from the teddies as he unceremoniously tossed the bag into a corner of the room.

"I don't even want to know what's in there," Snape grumbled as he striped for bed.

_Later that night…_

Something soft and light brushed his face.

"Little One, let Daddy sleep," Snape's gravelly morning voice rumbled.

Plop! Something soft, like a stuffed animal, hit his stomach.

"_The lion goes," _a mechanical voice sounded from somewhere near his stomach, _"RrrrroOOWW!"_

Damn Toys! Snape threw his arm over his eyes. Trust Little One to find the toys that make noise.

"_The lion goes," _now the voice was closer, somewhere just below the midsection of his chest, _"RrrrroOOWW!"_

"_The lion goes," _Now the mechanical voice sounded from right over his heart, _"RrrrroOOWW!"_

"_The lion goes," _a mechanical voice sounded from somewhere near his stomach, again, _"RrrrroOOWW!"_

"_RrrrroOOWW!" _Now the voice was getting closer again.

I guess sleep is out of the question tonight.

"_RrrrroOOWW!" _Right by his ear.

Wait a minute! Snape's sleep fogged brain began to register that something was off.

"Na, na, Naa," a bouncing feeling, then, _"RrrrroOOWW!"_

Opening his eyes, Snape wished he hadn't.

For there on his chest, dressed in a soft full-fledged lion costume: floppy ears, long fluffy mane, and fur tipped tail, bounced Little One.

She even had on furry gloves.

"_RrrrroOOWW!" _ She roared as she squeezed the small plush lion toy that she held in tiny little paws.

"_The lion goes," _sounded the mechanical voice from inside the stuffed toy, _"RrrrroOOWW!"_

"What the hell!" Snape picked up Little One with one hand and tried to touch her face with the other. Nothing! His hand went right through.

Little One has astrally projected herself into a lion costume.

"Now this is new," Snape grumbled as he drew the baby close and laid back down.

"Na, naa!" Little One squealed, intently studying the lion.

"_The lion goes," _a mechanical voice sounded yet again from the blasted toy, _"RrrrroOOWW!"_

Hmmm…I can handle this, Snape thought as he drifted off to sleep.

Wait till Remus sees this.

What do ya'll think?

Please read and review!


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: All recognizable people, places, and things belong to J. K. Rowling._

Chapter two

Snape's New Roommate

_Great Hall…_

Snape ignored the astonished looks shot his way as he swept down the corridors and headed for the Great Hall. Well, they weren't really looking at him.

"_RrrrroOOWW!"_ Little One bellowed at every passing student. Snape had an arm wrapped around her costume clad middle.

This morning he had tried to convince Little One that being naked was a far better state than the atrocious lion costume she was bouncing around in. When that didn't work, he had tried to lock the horrible lion costume in his bedroom dresser drawer, but that only resulted in a tantrum the likes of which he had never before seen.

His foot still smarted from where Little One had threw a large potted plant at it.

She really was Potter's daughter, Snape grumbled as Little One delighted in all the attention she was getting from the passing students.

"She so cute!" A third year hufflepuff exclaimed earning her a glare from Snape.

Walking at a far more brisk pace, Snape spied the doors to the Great Hall.

"Do you think Snape kidnapped her?" This whispered comment came from a group of Ravenclaws.

Snape whole back stiffened. Ignore them all, Severus! Snape thought to himself, they are just lowly worms unworthy of your attention.

Fuming, Snape strode through the Great Hall towards the staff table. Remus stood when as Snape approached his customary chair, the dashing werewolf's face stretched in a perfect grin when he saw what Snape was holding.

"How is she dressed like that, Severus?" Flitwick squeaked, confusion on his pointy little face. Indeed, confusion and awe was on the faces of the entire staff.

"Haven't a clue, Flitwick," Snape handed Little One over to Remus before taking his seat. Making Remus the second person to hold the little bundle of cloth and thin air. He grabbed his coffee cup, watching as it magically filled with his favorite dark roast before breathing in the wonderful aroma.

Lupin looked into the little angels eyes and felt his heart swell in his chest. She looked back at him with big green eyes and in that moment they truly connected.

"_RrrrroOOWW!" _The green-eyed beauty wrapped her arms around Remus's neck. _"RrrrroOOWW!"_

Remus knew right then and there that he would die for her.

Ignoring all the oohs and aahs Little One was receiving from the entire faculty as they gathered round a silent Lupin, Snape slowly sipped the delicious brew, feeling the dark liquid work its way into his veins.

Wonderful, Severus signed, cradling his cup in both hands. Just what he needed after such a trying morning.

"Oh my gods, what are you drinking!" McGonagall shrieked right in Severus's ear. Snape jumped, burning his hand in the process.

"Coffee, Minerva," Snape spat at the interfering cow, rubbing a napkin on his wounded hand. "They brew it from beans, in case you're wonderin—"

"You can't drink coffee! You're pregnant!" This was so very shrill and loud that every head in the school turned to look at Snape and his coffee cup.

"What! You are utterly mistaken if you think—" Snape was cut off by the very sparkly and purple Professor Dumbledore.

"I'm afraid Minerva is quite right, Severus," Albus took the coffee cup from Snape with a wave of his wand. "You don't want to stunt the baby's growth."

This rendered Snape speechless, for about two minutes, before pure rage blinded him and he stomped out of the Great Hall in an attempt to keep himself out of Azkaban.

Leaving a small fluffy lion-girl in the arms of Professor Lupin.

_Slytherin Table…_

Draco couldn't care less about the goings on over at the Professor's Table, he had something far more pressing on his mind. His devious plan was almost ready to put into action. The specialty potion he purchased from Knockturn Alley would surely do the trick. And his brand-spanking new camera would seal the deal, so to speak.

Now all he had to do was wait and watch. He needed all of his sorely test patience to keep from storming over to the Gryffindor table and just dragging Hermione off like some demented barbarian.

_Gryffindor Table…_

Hermione Granger couldn't shake the feeling that she was being watched. Looking up from her plate she glanced around and couldn't find anyone looking her way. Maybe it's just an overactive imagination, Hermione thought.

Harry shifted in his seat across from her, he seemed to want to run over to where his daughter was bouncing on Professor Lupin's knee. Finally, she couldn't take his soulful expression anymore and jumped up from her seat.

"Come on, Harry," Hermione ordered, "I'm going to get a closer look at that daughter of yours." And with that she started towards the Professors Table.

Stunned for a second, Harry quickly jumped and strode over to his daughter. Now why didn't I think of that, He wondered as Hermione looked over her shoulder and winked at him.

"Here Harry," Lupin said as he handed the little lion-girl to her daddy. Harry held her at arms length and just looked at her. She was so beautiful. A precious gift, more than he could have ever hoped for. Harry brought her to his chest and gently hugged his daughter, a strange feeling flooding his very soul.

This was the reason he had fought to make the world a better place, this was the reason why. Why him, why his parents… Their sacrifices hadn't been in vain. It was all for her.

Harry felt tears burn in his eyes as his little angel laid her head against his chest and rubbed her little eyes.

It was all for her.

And then he was holding nothing more than an empty lion suit. "What the hell," Harry looked up in shock at Remus, who was just as shocked.

"Where's Severus," Remus bellowed, worry on his broad handsome face.

_Once again, the infirmary…_

Snape stared stonily ahead of him, anger radiating from every inch of his body, as Madam Pomphrey did test after completely unnecessary test on him. Remus Lupin, Harry Potter, Professor Dumbledore crowded around him, annoying the Potion's Professor to no end.

"She's just asleep." Snape gritted through clenched teeth.

"Better safe than sorry," Madam Pomphrey muttered as she continued to do every test in the book.

"She disappeared and you've been drinking coffee," Harry said accusingly, "You could have stunted her development. Or given her brain damage!"

"Coffee doesn't cause brain damage, you dolt," Snape roared at the dark haired brat. "She is simply asleep! That's how astral projection works, when she is done with it, she just disappears."

"You can't know that for sure!" Harry was angry at Snape for not taking this more seriously. "She's completely dependent on you for her well-being—"

"I know that, Potter," Snape thrashed about dramatically on the hospital bed. "That's why I'm consenting to all this nonsense."

"The babe is perfectly healthy," Madam Pomphrey announced. "But you should really stop drinking caffeinated brews while pregnant, Severus. They really aren't conducive to your child's health."

Snape growled at her and jumped off the hospital bed. "That is nonsense, utter nonsense!" He whipped his cloak around his thin shoulders.

"Professor, you need to take this more seriously," Harry started up again, but Snape was in no mood to really listen.

"I've had enough of this lollygagging," Snape announced, "I'm going back to the dungeons!" He strode past a thoughtful looking Albus on his way out of the infirmary. Albus looked from Snape's retreating back to Lupin's worried expression and came up the most wonderful idea.

"Perfect," Albus whispered to nobody in particular, "They will be so happy together!" He turned to go to his office. "Hmm, I wonder why I didn't think of this before."

_Later that night…_

_Prefect's meeting…_

All the prefects sat around a table as the Heads passed out the revised prefect schedules for the upcoming week. (It was Friday.)

Hermione sat next to Ron and Draco. She glanced at the blond from under her eyelashes. He was such a handsome devil. Ever since the fall of Voldemort, Draco has been coolly polite and even friendly towards her. Whenever they have rounds together, he treats her like he doesn't care that she is a muggleborn anymore.

Maybe people really do grow up and mature, Hermione mused. Glancing over at her red-haired boyfriend, she really hoped that was true because Ron was starting to get on her very last nerve with his immaturity.

"Well, that's all we have for now," The Head Girl announced, "Does anyone else have anything they would like to share with the group." She looked around and was about to call the meeting to a close when Ron stuck his big paw up.

"I have something," Ron announced, standing. "With quidditch season coming up and all, I'd rather not have so many late night rounds. I have twice as many as everyone else."

Hermione couldn't believe what she was hearing; Ron knew she had arranged it so that they would patrol the halls together most nights. He never said anything about not wanting to be with her. This quidditch nonsense was new to her!

"Okay…" The Head Boy stood up and gestured for Ron to take his seat, "Will anyone like to volunteer to take over Ron's duties for, let's see," He scratched something down on the Prefect's Schedule.

"Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights," the Head Boy looked up expectantly.

"I will," a cool voice next to Hermione's ear said. Surprised, she looked over to see that it had been Draco. "I'll take over all four of Weasley's shifts. I don't mind." The Head Boy nodded at the tall blond and scribbled on the Prefect's Schedule.

Ooh that Ronald Weasley, Hermione fumed, he was going to get a piece of her mind!

As if he could read her mind, Ron sheepishly refused to meet her eye and quickly resolved to get out of the line of fire. Wait till she cools down to allow her to confront him, he thought, maybe later tonight, in front of witnesses.

"O-okay, with that taken care of,' the Head Girl looked from Ron to Hermione with an amused grin on her face, "this Prefect meeting is adjourned."

With the speed approximating that of light, Ron ran for the classroom door, damn near leaping over a small Hufflepuff prefect in his haste to escape Hermione's wrath.

_In the hallway…_

_After the Prefect's meeting…_

Hermione couldn't believe her eyes. That Ronald Weasley was going to get a piece of her mind when she got her hands on him. Oooh, he will be sorry. So very sorry indeed!

"Hermione, a moment," the soft sensual voice of the heir to the Malfoy millions caused goose-bumps to appear on the back of Hermione's very sensitive neck.

Turning around, Hermione looked up into the stormy grey eyes of her once enemy, now comrade. Draco Malfoy was the tallest boy in her class, slim and lethal like a knife, silent and sharp he stood behind her.

"Yes, Draco?" Hermione completely missed the pleasure that shot across Draco's solemn face at the sound of his name on her lips. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it.

Draco looked down at her for what seemed like an unusually long amount of time to Hermione. Before he quickly said:

"Where do you want to meet tonight for rounds?"

"Oh," Hermione looked up at him, a little relieved. She thought for a second he was going to revel something dramatic. "Outside my common room at 8:00, okay?"

He nodded, a particular look upon his handsome face. "8:00 is fine." And with that he turned and walked away.

Oh well, Hermione thought, maybe Draco ate something that didn't agree with him and headed for the Gryffindor common room with a determined look in her intelligent eyes. Ron was going to be crying for his mommy, by the time she was through with him.

_Down the hallway…_

_Five minutes later…_

Draco stood, breathing heavy, with his back to the wall.

What exactly is wrong with me, he wondered, his face twisted in rage. What in the hell is wrong with me! I was standing right in front of her. And I couldn't remember my own damn name!!!

Couldn't think a single thought. Express a single emotion! Draco clenched his fists in frustration. All the cunning words, the expert manipulations gone. Poof, like magic!

Grinning like a maniac, Draco began to slam his head against the wall:

What (slam) the (slam) hell (slam) is wrong with me! With a soft cry of anguish, Draco slipped to the cold hard floor. He couldn't see how anything was going to work out in his favor. Especially now that his ability to talk to his curly-haired sweetheart had flown out the window.

_At that very moment…_

_The Headmaster's Office…_

Professor Lupin, Harry Potter, Professor McGonagall, and Madam Pomphrey where all wondering why they had been asked to meet here in the Headmaster's office. Professor Dumbledore was nowhere to be seen.

"Does anyone know what this is all about," Remus asked from where he lounged on a purple and teal sofa. Harry sat on the other end with an equally clueless look on his face.

"Haven't a clue, deary," Madam Pomphrey strokes Fawkes bright red feathers and smiled at the friendly phoenix. "I'm sure Albus has a good reason for wanting us all here."

Just then the door to the office swung open and revealed Professor Dumbledore and the Ministry of Magic, Arthur Weasley, along with Percy Weasley, Mr. Weasley's assistant.

"Well, I'm sure you're all wondering what this is all about." Professor Dumbledore sat behind his big desk and conjured up two more chairs for Minister Weasley and Percy. "I think I speak for everyone here when I say I'm worried about Severus and the baby. Severus needs someone to help look after him and assure us of his wellbeing. Then we would all sleep easier and have far more peace of mind."

"Oh, he would never agree to this invasion of his privacy," Albus continued. "So I've enlisted the help of the Minister, here, to gently coerce him into agreeing."

"And who would be the one looking after him, Albus?" Remus asked eagerly, thinking that there must be some way of convincing Albus into letting that person be him.

"Well, Harry's the other parent, and normally this duty would fall to him," Arthur Weasley answered, leaning forward in his chair, "But that's not all that practical in this situation."

"How about Harry chooses the person to be the care giver to Professor Snape," Percy added, scribbling endlessly on a pad of paper on his lap. "He is the other parent and has an overwhelming concern for the baby's wellbeing."

"Lilly," Harry interrupted, "Her name is Lilly."

"Lilly's wellbeing," Percy corrected, scribbling some more.

Seeing this as his best chance at getting close to the object of his never-ending desire, Remus coughed and turned to Harry.

"I'd like to volunteer," Remus looked Harry right in the eye, leaving the boy with no doubt that he meant it. "I'll watch out for you're daughter's wellbeing and Professor Snape's as well."

"Well that could work," Mr. Weasley nodded his head, "That would work just fine."

"I agree," Professor Albus agreed, grinning to himself, oh it's so easy to predict what these darling, darling youngsters were going to do. "Now I bet you are doing here, Professor McGonagall, and you Madam Pomphrey. We'll need your help in order to gently coerce Severus' compliance in this."

"Oh, I'd be delighted to help," McGonagall grinned evilly, "you bet!" She couldn't wait to see Snape's thin, pale face when the old bat heard about this. Maybe they'd let her be the one to break the news to him. Oooh that would be so sweet!

"And Professor Snape will be so much better off with someone looking out for his health and wellbeing," Madame Pomphrey grinned at Remus. "And we couldn't ask for a better candidate for the job."

"Now all we need to do is fill these forms,"Albus indicated with his hand. "These for Harry, to show he fears for his daughter's wellbeing."

Harry snatched these up and quickly signed his name to them. He'd finally be able to concentrate on his school work and quidditch without the fear for his child hanging over his head.

"Professor McGonagall," Mr. Weasley handed her a form, "Please fill this out, stating how much coffee Professor Snape consumed in your presence."

"And Madam Pomphrey if you could fill these out," Percy handed the plump medi-witch the form. "State how much care you think that Professor Snape will need from Professor Lupin. Include Professor Snape's mental condition, physical condition, eating habits, if you know them, and anything else you think is relevant to this situation."

All that could be heard in the colorful office was the scratching of pens, until…

"Well now that that's all in order," Mr. Weasley said after everyone finished filling out their respected forms. "I'll have Percy file these, post haste."

"I can have them filed and processed in about an hour," Percy Weasley was a damn fine assistant.

"Good, good," Albus walked them all to the door, "Remus, you'll need to pack you belongings and then we will all sit Professor Snape down and break the good news to him."

_Gryffindor…_

_Harry's dorm…_

Harry couldn't help but whistle as he got ready to take a shower. No longer will he need to worry about precious little Lilly-Bug. Remus will protect her.

Grabbing a towel, Harry danced a little jig all the way to the showers. Flicking his wand, his favorite shower began to rain down in the empty shower stall.

Feeling that he was completely alone, he stripped naked and hopped under the hot steamy cascade of water.

Continuing to whistle a merry tune, the lean and muscular sixteen-year-old lathered up and danced around.

Unbeknownst to him, Ron was also in the boy's bathroom. Naked and silent, he sat on a bench in the farther corner of the room with a clear and enticing view of Harry's beautiful tight ass.

Ron let his hungry eyes roam Harry's small agile frame. God, how he wanted him.

But it could never be, Ron rubbed a hand over his face. Harry didn't think of him like that. And Ron would do anything to keep Harry's friendship.

These unwanted feelings must remain a secret! And with that Ron silently exited the bathroom.

_An hour later…_

_In the Sanctuary…_

Professor Severus Snape leaned back in his chair, feeling the satisfaction that came with a job well done. He had graded every last potion essay that had been turned in to him, and in good time. He was quite pleased. Today was not a waste after all.

Feeling his stomach lurch, Snape realized he had forgotten to eat dinner, so wrapped up in slashing bright red marks all over students' incompetent essays. Oh, well, Snape thought, a quick sandwich and then off to bed with him. Hmmm, maybe a ham and tomato sandwich.

Getting up and leaving the comfort of his office, Snape sleepily rubbed his right side. His energy levels had been depleting faster than normal. He wasn't really sure if it was just the pregnancy that was doing it. Snape had some ideas about Little One's ability to astrially project and where she may be coming up with the magic required to pull it off. Namely his bank of magic.

Trudging tiredly down the portrait lined hall, Snape arrived at his destination, incredibly more hungrily than when he left his office mere moments ago. Twinkle, his favorite and personal house elf, was fast asleep in front of the fire. Her old, wrinkly face in a little smile, like she was dreaming something quite pleasant, and in her long, boney fingers she held a needle and a pair of socks. Oh how cute, Severus thought with a rare, soft grin. Twinkle had fallen asleep darning socks.

Snape smiled down at his friend, he would not wake the old house elf. She had taken care of him since he was a baby. And she could do very little wrong in his eyes. Crossing over to the icebox, Snape peered inside.

Hmm, tomatoes, he thought, squeezing a particularly plum red one in his long slender hand. Maybe, I'll just have the tomato. Severus was an insanely picky eater. Almost a vegetarian, really.

_Knock, knock, knock! _Snape jerked his head out of the icebox, red tomato juice dripping down his chin. Oh, what now!

"Master Snape!" An old creaky voice exclaimed. "Are you hungry, Twinkle will fix you a sandwich! You don't need to eat just a cold tomato!" Twinkle stood up on old shaky legs, obviously still very tired, which pissed Snape off even more at whoever was banging on the door. They were going to wish they had waited till morning, when he was through with them!

"Maybe in a little while, Twinkle," Snape growled slamming the icebox door closed. "I seem to have uninvited guests!"

Twinkle blinked at him sleepily, she knew her master growled and grumbled around a lot, but was really very sweet.

Snape slammed his tomato down on the lovely marble counter top and stomped his way out of the kitchen and towards the front door just as another round of robust knocking rang out.

"I'm coming, blast it all!" Snape wiped his face on his sleeve, his stomach twisting in his gut from the force of his hunger. "This had better be life or death!" Snape waved his wand at his front door and unleashed the specialized magic locks that he had installed after receiving one to many uninvited guests.

Throwing open the door, Snape immediately wished he did not. There on his threshold stood Professor Dumbledore, Remus Lupin, Minister Weasley, and that stuck up little know-it-all, Percy Weasley. His thin hand tighten on the door frame, what little manners he had forcing him not to slam the door in their faces.

"Albus, to what do I owe the pleasure," Snape grumbled blocking the way into his quarters with his body, leaving the unwanted persons outside in the dimly lit corridor.

"Severus, my dear boy, can we come inside," Albus had that infernal twinkle in his eye. The one that can only mean trouble. "We have a pressing issue we need to discuss with you."

"One that will be best taken care off inside, and not in this hallway, Professor Snape," Percy Weasley perked up, his chest puffed out with his self-importance, making Snape want to hex off his bullocks.

"Fine, fine," Snape grumbled, sensing the need to get this over with as quickly as possible. "Come in."

Snape turned his back on them and without another word, headed towards his office, unwanted buggers aren't worming their way into my super relaxing, totally awesome den, Snape thought rubbing his aching belly. The delicious taste of that red, ripe tomato lingering in his mouth. He really needed to eat soon.

Storming into his office, he seated himself behind his desk and motioned for the unwanted disturbers-of-his-much-sought-after-peace to set down on the wing-backed chairs in front of his desk.

"Well, what is this about." Snape set his jaw and squared his thin shoulders.

"I'm sorry to have to do this, Severus," Albus didn't look sorry. "But we've been worried about you well-being and the welfare of your unborn child. You just don't take very good care of yourself, so we've appointed you a care-giver."

Snape fell back in his chair, he was utterly speechless. Then anger flooded through his every cell. "Well you are greatly," He snarled. "Greatly mistaken if you think I'm going to let some half-wit run my life! I want you out! Out of my office—"

Suddenly, as if a switch had been pulled in the old man's being, Headmaster Dumbledore stood to his full height, power radiating from his every muscle in his (all of a sudden) quite formidable frame.

"Now you listen to me, Severus," Albus pointed his wand at the now stunned Potion's Professor. "You will consent to this care-giver and you will cooperate with Madam Pomphrey and you will stop scaring the very life out of me. Or you will not like the consequences." Albus had sparks flying out of his eyes.

Everyone in the room looked at the Headmaster, speechless and a little afraid; Albus really wasn't a wizard to cross. _Ever!_

"Alright," Snape was trembling, truly cowed in his chair, "I'm sorry. I consent, I consent to the care-giver." Snape's lower lip trembled. He always thought of Albus as a father figure and Albus's anger made his chest hurt.

Remus looked at the suddenly less snarky potion's professor and felt a rush of protectiveness flood him. He could feel the were-wolf in him wanting to rend Professor Dumbledore into little pieces. Albus didn't need to be so hard on Severus! It really was an invasion of the pale, thin man's privacy and Professor Snape was a very private person.

"Okay, now that that's all settled," Mr. Weasley drawled out, very glad that Albus had put his wand away and had sat down in a huff of purple. "Remus Lupin will be moving in with you post haste, Professor Snape. He will be responsible for your medical care from now until the birth of your daughter."

"Lupin!" Snape shot up from his chair, his earlier fear completely forgotten. "You must be kidding me!" Of course, it had to be that infernal were-wolf!

"No, Severus, he's not." Lupin stood up, purposely approaching the tall thin potions professor. "I think I could be a wonderful care-giver to you and your baby. We should get along just fine." Lupin went to lay a hand on Snape's shoulder, but Severus jumped back with a truly shocked look on his face.

"What!" Snape snorted, holding out a hand as if to ward Remus off. "Since when do we get along! We have _never_ gotten along!" Snape shook his head as if to wake himself from a very bad dream.

"Severus, you already consented and this is your new roommate." Professor Dumbledore stood up and brushed the non-existent wrinkles out of his cloak. "And that's that, you will just have to learn to get along. For the sake of the precious little girl growing inside of you."

And with that he was gone, following along after him an apologetic Mr. Weasley and a self-important Percy Weasley. Leaving behind an angry-as-all-get-out Professor Snape and a happy-as-can-be Professor Lupin.

_In the tense atmosphere of Professor Snape's Office…_

"You scheming bastard," Snape growled, turning on Remus as soon as his front door had closed, leaving him alone in his office with the were-wolf. "If this is some cracked up plan to torment me like you and your good-for-nothing friends used to do when we attended Hogwarts together, I swear, Lupin, I will _Kill_ you!" Snape's teeth were clenched and his eyes were shooting death-beams at the all-too-handsome brunette.

"Oh for crying out loud, Severus!" Lupin shot back angrily, "let it go! I was a foolish teenager, and I would change how things were back then if I could, but I can't! I'm not you enemy; I want to be your _friend_!"

Remus had stormed over to where Snape was standing, backing up the shorter man until Snape's back was pressed against the bookcase lined wall. Snape refused to be intimidated, as he crossed his arms over his chest and stubbornly raised his chin.

Snape snorted, "We'll never be friends, you are a insufferable pain in my as—"

Remus grabbed Severus' chin with one large, tanned hand and consumed his mouth in a passionate kiss. Every ounce of Remus' pent up feeling of love and lust pouring out of him into the very shocked face of his much beloved potion's professor.

After what seemed like an entire lifetime to Severus, Remus lifted his head and looked into Severus' truly shocked eyes. Lupin couldn't seem to catch his breath. Severus tasted like Christmas sugar cookies and the first glass of lemonade on a really hot summers day. He never wanted to stop kissing him.

Severus was thinking something entirely different. A weird sort of calm had settled over him, a crazy sort of calm. And he causally stepped one step to the right, turned around, faced the door, nodded very formally at Professor Lupin (like they had just been discussing student related affairs, instead of kissing each other breathless), and walked out of his office. Without looking over his shoulder, or to the left or right, Snape regally walked straight to his bedroom, shut the door and promptly locked it.

_In the comfort of Snape's bedroom… _

Snape sat perfectly still on the edge of his bed.

He sat.

And sat.

And promptly freaked the fuck out!

Oh my god!! Snape jumped up and grabbed his face with both hands. That were-wolf just kissed him! A truly wonderful kiss, Snape's first. Yes, Professor Snape was as pure as the driven snow. What with Voldemort and the whole being as gay as a rainbow-colored poncho, Snape never really had time to experiment with his sexuality. And, seeing as he had a healthy dose of self-respect, the option of paying some dark-alley male prostitute to help alleviate his condition (yes, Snape feels as if his virginity is a disease to be alleviated with the proper medication or procedure, as it were) was out of the question.

Wait a minute, Snape sat back down. Clarity coming like a breath of fresh air. That damned were-wolf is playing some sort of game with him. If he thinks he can control Professor Severus Snape with a sloppy, not-at-all wonderful kiss, he had another think coming! No one, no matter how handsome, will ever have that sort of hold over him.

_Back in Snape's office… _

Professor Lupin watched Severus' display of crazy behavior with a raised eyebrow. He was still breathing heavy from the oh-so-steamy kiss he had just shared with his neurotic and elegant potion's professor and was a little bit dazed.

With a jolt, Lupin came back to his right mind and realized he just let his nutty-little-kissing-buddy walk right out the door. He didn't even attempt to stop Snape; he stood there like a mindless statue and watched Snape go crazy and dance right out of his reach.

Oh, this is so not happening, Lupin strode purposely out of Snape's office. Snape will never be able to escape his clutches, for he had waited far too long for his creamy little lovey to flee now.

_Snape's bedroom…_

_Thud, thud, thud_, Snape's bedroom door thundered. Oh there was no way I'm letting him in. Snape though with his arms crossed and his long nose in the air. No way!

"Severus, open the door, I need to talk to you," the wolf at his door growled, Snape couldn't help but shiver at the sexual tone. That damn man! He knows how to make someone melt with his gravely, come-have-sex-with-me voice. Well, there will be no sex with Snape!

"No, you perverted ass-monkey!" Snape bellowed, set in his resolve. "You stay the hell away from me.!" No matter how good the sex would be, Severus thought, you are _not _going to open that door!

Steady the course, Snape thought, Lupin is trying to manipulate you!

"What, are you afraid of me," Lupin's dark dangerous voice seeped like melted chocolate down Snape's spin. Afraid of that dip-shit, I think not, Snape took a few steps closer to the door.

"You are, aren't you," Snape silently shook his head as Lupin continued to taunt him from beyond his bedroom door. Anger was starting to overcome his arousal and common sense. "Cowering in fear, hiding from the big bad wolf. Are you afraid I'm going to gobble you up—"

In a rage, Snape flung open the door, his wand pointed at head-level. But with a flash of movement, the speed of a were-wolf, Lupin knocked Snape's wand to the corner of the room and took Snape into his very powerful arms.

Squeezing his pale, shocked prize in his muscled arms, Remus kicked the door shut. Giving in to temptation and losing all sense and reason; Lupin licked one of Snape's beautiful ears. He had wanted to do that since he was thirteen. Snape shivered in his arms and opened his mouth to protest.

Whispering, Lupin used a bit of wandless magic to render Snape silent and still. Sucking on the space below Severus' soft ear, Lupin backed Snape up against the huge four-poster bed. Lupin watched as Severus' eyes went completely black with arousal. Licking his lips, Remus lowered his head.

"I will never let you go," Remus whispered against Snape's lips. "I've wanted you for so long and now you're mine!" He picked up the completely limp potion's professor and threw him on the middle of the bed. Situating himself at Snape's feet he grinned at the delicious picture in front of him. A lovely and wanton Snape laid across a bed for him to gobble up! "All mine!"

Grabbing one small ankle in each hand he spread Severus' legs wide apart, bending his knees just so. Perfect!

Remus spelled their robes away and laid his dark frame in between Severus pale long legs, thrusting once for good measure. Careful, even in the midst of hot passionate love, of Snape's right side where Lilly rested.

Snape wrapped his pale and shaking arms around Lupin's tan neck and surrendered completely as Remus sucked on one of Severus' tiny pale pink nipples.

Oh, Snape thought with a gasp, he is good. So utterly _good_!

A/N: I think I'll let your imaginations take it from there.


End file.
